Dracos thoughts
by KidaRiddle
Summary: Draco is reflecting about his life this far. Is death really such a bad option? Read and find out. ONE-SHOT


Draco looked outside the window at Malfoy Manor and reflected about his life. He had gotten his mark two days earlier. He stared at it for a long time, before going to bed. The whole room shone in Slytherin colours. Green and silver. He wondered what would have happened if he had been put in another House but Slytherin. Would he be a better person then? He didn't know and he would probably never get to know either. Now it was Christmas and Draco hated it. He didn't know what to do.

There was a firm knock on the door and his mother entered.

"You have to get ready now", she said quietly and didn't leave until Draco gave her a small nod.

He rose from the bed and went straight to the wardrobe, where he started looking for something to wear.

A short while later he decided on a black shirt and dark green jeans. He put them on and sat down on the chair in front of the big mirror. He didn't know what to do. At the moment, his lift felt pointless. There was just no reason for it anymore.

"Draco!" his mother called.

He wiped the tears, that had slowly found their way down his cheeks, away and stood up.

"I'm coming", he answered with a somewhat steady voice.

He went down the staircase with heavy steps. He already knew who had arrived. His mother scolded him for being slow, but didn't really seem do make a big deal out of it.

Time went on and Draco was left alone with Him. He forced himself to look at him. Draco swallowed and embraced all his courage, which, at the moment, was not much.

"I have a mission for you", the man said.

Draco barely heard the man speaking and if it hadn't been for seeing his lips move he wouldn't have noticed it. He nodded and the man smirked.

Draco's eyes flew open when he heard what he was supposed to do. Then he realized what would happen if he declined this and lowered his gaze.

"Yes, my lord."

Lord Voldemort left and his mother quickly entered the room and embraced him. Draco pushed her away and ran up to his room. This was not what he wanted to do, but if he didn't his whole family would die a horrible death and that was not something he wished for. He remembered the words coming out of his masters mouth. The low, threatening whisper. The dark lord had laughed when he saw Draco's expression and that was something he did not do very often. He had only said two words and Draco was surprised two simple words could change a man's perspective. Two hated words that should be printed in his mind for eternity. En eternity of hate. The words? 'Kill Dumbledore'.

Draco was smart enough to figure out that this was a punishment for what his father had done and what better way to take it out, but on this man's son.

He heard his mother cry in the kitchen. Apparently, she too knew what was going to happen. The point was that he was going to fail. He was not supposed to succeed. No one counted on him completing this. And if he did, would it really matter? He would clear his family's name, but he didn't believe it would help. His father would do more mistakes, only maybe he could clean them up himself.

He sat on the bed and stared into the mirror. He didn't believe his life could be much worse. If he failed, he would die and he would probably get killed even if he did make it.

He sighed and started sobbing. The sobbing led to crying and big tears fell down his cheeks one again. This was supposed to be Christmas. A time of happiness. This was not Christmas for him. For him, he was trapped in a hurricane without being able to escape it. Like drowning in a tidal wave. Maybe failing was a good option after all. Then it would all be over. There was a knife just a couple of inches from him. Only a short while, he considered taking it. He didn't want to leave his mother alone in times like this. Not when his father wasn't here. Draco put a blanket over his head and closed his eyes. If someone would disturb his now, they wouldn't notice he had been crying. He didn't have to worry about it, though, since he slept before he had finished the thought.

The End


End file.
